The “Ho” Word

But first… My prayers go out to those impacted by the massacre today at Virginia Tech- those murdered, plus their families and friends.
… a moment of silence. please…

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Now, about Imus– I am glad that he got fired.
… I wonder why it took so long.
… Once the sponsors started pulling out, the handwriting was on the wall.
… BUT… why didn’t CBS fire him sooner?… why did they have to wait to see “how the story played out.” ?

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And another dimension of the story–
I am glad there is now a growing dialog about rappers, especially gangsta rappers, to get them to remove the word “Ho” from their songs (other degrading words and phrases as well). Rev. Al Sharton and Jesse Jackson have said recently that we should be lifting up our women and youth, and not degrading them in the lyrics and in the music videos (to be completely honest, they have not always spoken out against such lyrics). But, as you can imagine, there is controversy here too. Some rappers, like Russell Simmons, Mims and others, say that they are simply reflecting the nature of the environment of the ‘hood. Some say even more that they are drawing attention to the plight of growing up and living in the ‘hood so that maybe something will be done about it. (A few example links below, shown in alphabetical order.)
– Arizona Republic- click here
– Barack Obama- click here
– Cagle Cartoons- click here
– CNN- click here
– MSNBC- click here
– Oprah- click here

The objective should be to lift women up !! Black women.. All women!! We should do all that we can to encourage them to “be all that they can be”. More on that in the future… Let’s hope the discussion in the media keeps this issue alive for a while, and eventually things move in the right way.

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What do you think?

What is a Sensitive Man? (one element of it)

In Always Aroused Girl’s (AAG’s) blog today (April 12, 2007), she discusses a coffee date she had wherein the man asked her, “Have you ever had a man clean you up after coming inside you?” This was then clarified to mean “going down on her” after unprotected sex.

As AAG described it, her date was insistent that if they were getting along and had sex that “You gotta trust me.” He whined slightly now. “I’m very picky about who I take to bed. I don’t sleep with just anybody. Look at me. Don’t I look clean? You certainly look clean to me!”

AAG was amazed and disgusted (my adjectives) and indignant about how insensitive and lacking-sense-of-reality this guy was. Issues of her health, his health, future and past partner’s health, and pregnancy all come into consideration. Go read her blog and readers’ comments to get the full sense of her indignation. And also to know my jumping off point for the remainder of my current post.

I made some comments in her blog, which I copy here:

I agree with you AAG. Absolutely!

I’m just sitting here trying to figure out what’s that guy’s story:
1) Is he just ignorant?
2) Is he stupid?
3) Is he truly unaware? Could this be possible?
4) Is he just selfish?
5) Does he think he is immune to disease?
6) Does he think that somehow he could tell that you are “clean” and he is “clean”? And even if he could, does he think that he doesn’t need to think about pregnancy?
7) Does he think that only the woman is responsible for pregnancy prevention?
8) Does he feel that even if the woman gets pregnant that he has no responsibility at all for the child and the total change to the woman’s life?

Then I begin to wonder… forgetting this man for the moment.. how many of these questions apply to how many of the other men out there that you might otherwise be attracted to?.. Or to all of the men out there that are looking for a woman?

Sensitive Man wonders what we can do about this…???… What do you think?

Well, I didn’t want to take too much space in her blog comments, but I kept thinking about the issue… and wanted to make some comments here…

A Sensitive Man should know enough to know the importance of wearing condoms in today’s world.

A Sensitive Man should be respectful enough of the woman to know that she is going to want to protect herself (health and pregnancy concerns).
… and he should not be aggressive or use various forms of persuasion to force her to have sex without the condom.

Don’t men realize that oral contact to the woman’s vulva (external genitalia) has the same or greater risk of transmission of STD’s as sexual intercourse without a condom.

Do “controlling men” more often act like the woman should do whatever the man wants when they are “in the bedroom”, no matter what issues, concerns, or anxieties they have.

Even an “insensitive man” should assume he is going to use a condom.

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This whole issue is just one element of what a Sensitive Man is.. one who realizes that there is more going on than just his need and desire for pleasure. A smart man, even if he isn’t that sensitive, might even realize that by being sensitive, he might actually get more appreciation from the woman if he just pushes to have things his way.

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How should men learn these things? Should it just be learned in the natural process of growing up and learning about life? Should parents be teaching these things to their children? Should it be covered in “Sex Education” classes at school? (I mean all of the sex/pregnancy/STD/sensitivity/responsibilities dimensions?) Should there be some “Parents’ Manual” which covers these issues, so that parents don’t forget to cover them as they guide the growth of their children?

… Looking for your comments…

A Business Trip to Paris – aka “An Intoxicating French Woman”

A few years ago, I was in Paris on a business trip with a team of six. After a long successful day, we all went out to dinner. Nothing really eventful there, but it helped to set the stage for what would transpire later. We all talked about France, doing business there, and the male members of our work-team were talking about the lovely French women, and what their sexual proclivities might be. Lots of different possibilities were suggested, but no one knew which might be true or not.

After the dinner we all returned to our hotel. I decided to go the bar for a last drink, and quiet reflection about the day and plans for the next.

There was a lovely quiet lady sitting close by at the bar, and we just started talking, very casually.

She had a sweet voice and very intoxicating perfume. I was still thinking about my business deal of the day, but she slowly became more and more of a distraction. She was wearing a very pretty, yet seductive dress over a fantastic, shapely body. She was leaning toward me as we talked more. Her lean, her posture showed interest, and was very provocative in a way, but was also still quite classy. You could tell that she knew that she could have any man she wanted. Anyhow, my thoughts of business completely disappeared, and I know my breathing was quicker, and my face was getting a little flushed, though we hadn’t said anything sexual.

She noticed my blushing, smiled, then reached up to my face in a very gentle way to wipe away a bead of sweat that had appeared. Her smile was so lovely… intoxicating, really.

She told me a little about herself… Adrienne was her name. She was originally from a small French town, but was moving to Paris from Marseille. I told her my name, about my business trip, and that I had had a very successful day.

We continued the small talk for a while, each talking about our own experience in Paris, and comparing our experiences living in a small town (I had grown up in a small town in the Midwest). We were talking about “nothing in particular”, and yet her whole being was so seductive, without any overt effort on her part. You can imagine how easily my thoughts drifted back to my earlier conversation about French women and their sexual proclivities. I had to find a way to remain classy and at the same time, open up this line of conversation.

As I was getting ready to mention this, I took her hand and very gently kissed her wrist. At virtually the same moment, she started to get down from the bar stool, while still holding my hand. She kinda winked at me over her shoulder as she started to walk away from the bar. She pointed very subtly with her head… and her eyes.. (ohhh those piercing beautiful blue eyes) toward the elevator.

I didn’t know if she was going, or if she was trying to bring me with her (I was a little slow in those days in picking up signals). As I started to say goodbye to her, her fingers were holding my hand a little stronger and encouraging me to come with her. I was in a trance!!!

Well, we went up to her room and before I knew what was happening, she was pouring me another glass of wine. A few moments later, she was in some sexy lingerie from the Paris version of Victoria’s Secret.

She was such a tease and a flirt, too. My face was red and my manhood was bulging under my pants. She looked down and said, “Oh my!” Then she reached for me, and touched me firmly but gently– it was an amazing touch, yet hard to describe.

Next thing I knew, she was on her knees and kissing my inner thighs, and between my legs. My pants were still on, as she began to undo my zipper.

Well, as you can imagine, my cock was harder by the moment. She had a little trouble getting my pants off over my swollen member.

Finally, she succeeded… and she was ravenous… Wow!! … as I remember it now… it was incredible.

Her sweet lips were all over me, she was licking and sucking me. Her hands reached under my shirt and started pinching my nipples. I felt like this would go on for the rest of the night. She clearly knew her way around the bedroom, and had decided that pleasing me was her desire for the evening. I had totally given in to her advances, and was enjoying this so much, I hadn’t even begun to try to get her out of her lingerie.

Then her cell phone rang. I hoped she wouldn’t answer… but she did. I heard her conversing in French. After a few moments, she hung up the phone, her whole demeanor changed. She told me she had to go, but she begged me to stay as she would be back in just a little over an hour… She quickly got dressed, and redid her makeup in a much more provocative fashion.

I begged her to stay… she said she had to go… I said I would wait for her. As I tried to catch my breath, I could feel my cock rapidly shrinking … Cock deflated … ego deflated … I wondered a little about her makeup, which was very different from earlier.

As she went out the door, I heard her she splurt out “clients damnés!” (in English- “damned customers!”) Then, she turned back toward me and smiled, then waved and said, “Stay here!! I’ll be back!!”

Before I could say a thing, she was gone…

Well… there I was… in a strange woman’s bed… a beautiful, sexy, passionate woman’s bed.

My shaft was getting hard again as I imagined her, and how quickly she had turned me on.

But, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there waiting for the call girl to return… even if I hadn’t called her, and even if she was such an intoxicating seducer…