What is a Sensitive Man? (one element of it)

In Always Aroused Girl’s (AAG’s) blog today (April 12, 2007), she discusses a coffee date she had wherein the man asked her, “Have you ever had a man clean you up after coming inside you?” This was then clarified to mean “going down on her” after unprotected sex.

As AAG described it, her date was insistent that if they were getting along and had sex that “You gotta trust me.” He whined slightly now. “I’m very picky about who I take to bed. I don’t sleep with just anybody. Look at me. Don’t I look clean? You certainly look clean to me!”

AAG was amazed and disgusted (my adjectives) and indignant about how insensitive and lacking-sense-of-reality this guy was. Issues of her health, his health, future and past partner’s health, and pregnancy all come into consideration. Go read her blog and readers’ comments to get the full sense of her indignation. And also to know my jumping off point for the remainder of my current post.

I made some comments in her blog, which I copy here:

I agree with you AAG. Absolutely!

I’m just sitting here trying to figure out what’s that guy’s story:
1) Is he just ignorant?
2) Is he stupid?
3) Is he truly unaware? Could this be possible?
4) Is he just selfish?
5) Does he think he is immune to disease?
6) Does he think that somehow he could tell that you are “clean” and he is “clean”? And even if he could, does he think that he doesn’t need to think about pregnancy?
7) Does he think that only the woman is responsible for pregnancy prevention?
8) Does he feel that even if the woman gets pregnant that he has no responsibility at all for the child and the total change to the woman’s life?

Then I begin to wonder… forgetting this man for the moment.. how many of these questions apply to how many of the other men out there that you might otherwise be attracted to?.. Or to all of the men out there that are looking for a woman?

Sensitive Man wonders what we can do about this…???… What do you think?

Well, I didn’t want to take too much space in her blog comments, but I kept thinking about the issue… and wanted to make some comments here…

A Sensitive Man should know enough to know the importance of wearing condoms in today’s world.

A Sensitive Man should be respectful enough of the woman to know that she is going to want to protect herself (health and pregnancy concerns).
… and he should not be aggressive or use various forms of persuasion to force her to have sex without the condom.

Don’t men realize that oral contact to the woman’s vulva (external genitalia) has the same or greater risk of transmission of STD’s as sexual intercourse without a condom.

Do “controlling men” more often act like the woman should do whatever the man wants when they are “in the bedroom”, no matter what issues, concerns, or anxieties they have.

Even an “insensitive man” should assume he is going to use a condom.

…

This whole issue is just one element of what a Sensitive Man is.. one who realizes that there is more going on than just his need and desire for pleasure. A smart man, even if he isn’t that sensitive, might even realize that by being sensitive, he might actually get more appreciation from the woman if he just pushes to have things his way.

…

How should men learn these things? Should it just be learned in the natural process of growing up and learning about life? Should parents be teaching these things to their children? Should it be covered in “Sex Education” classes at school? (I mean all of the sex/pregnancy/STD/sensitivity/responsibilities dimensions?) Should there be some “Parents’ Manual” which covers these issues, so that parents don’t forget to cover them as they guide the growth of their children?

… Looking for your comments…